Young people today are growing up amid economic uncertainty, political change, rapid technological advancement and evolving social norms. Yet one constant remains: relationships continue to shape how they understand themselves, build confidence and navigate adulthood.
These connections help young people develop values, expectations and emotional skills that often last well beyond adolescence. However, unlike many other life skills, lessons about relationships are rarely taught directly. Instead, they are learned through observation, experience and trial and error.
If healthy relationships are learned rather than innate, where do young people learn them today - and what influences matter most?
Family, friendships and lived experience remain key relationship teachers
Despite frequent concerns about the influence of social media, young people's understanding of relationships is still rooted primarily in their everyday experiences.
Family is often the first place where young people observe communication, conflict resolution, affection and trust. Friendships provide opportunities to learn about belonging, loyalty and mutual support, while helping to shape identity during key developmental years. Although digital platforms expose young people to growing amounts of relationship content and advice, real-world experiences continue to provide the context through which they interpret what they see online.
The Shell Youth Study 2024 highlights the enduring importance of interpersonal relationships. The research found that good friendships and stable relationships remain among the things young people value most highly. It also showed that most young people remain optimistic about their futures and continue to place strong value on family life, with 71% saying they would like children in the future.
The story is therefore not one of family being replaced by social media. Rather, young people navigate relationships through a combination of family influence, peer experience and digital content, drawing on all three to make sense of an increasingly complex world.
Many young people are developing relationship skills through trial and error
While most young people understand the principles of a healthy relationship, many can find it challenging to manage difficult situations when they arise.
Communication, emotional regulation and boundary-setting are skills that develop over time. One finding from Verian's Youth Sexuality Survey is that communication about intimate topics appear to be relatively strong among young people in relationships in Germany. Nearly nine out of ten discuss contraception, and 67% discuss protection against sexually transmitted infections.
Yet many young people enter relationships without clear tools for navigating conflict, jealousy, breakups or differing expectations. As a result, the gap between romantic ideals and the realities of relationships can be difficult to bridge.
This challenge emerged clearly through the Love Better campaign, which was informed by youth-led research into relationship experiences. Rather than focusing on idealised messages about love, the campaign concentrated on practical challenges that young people identified in their own lives.
One of the most significant issues raised was coping with breakups. For many young people, relationship endings can affect confidence, emotional wellbeing and future relationship experiences. Love Better responded by providing practical tools, language and support to help young people navigate these situations.
The results were encouraging. The data found a 19-point drop in the proportion of young people reporting that a breakup had “blown up”, suggesting greater confidence and resilience in managing relationship challenges.
The findings highlight an important lesson: healthy relationships are not something people automatically know how to build. Like any other life skill, they often require practice, guidance and reflection. Effective support is therefore less about providing information and more about helping young people develop confidence and capability.
Gender expectations are evolving but not disappearing
Young people's views on relationships are also being shaped by wider debates about gender, equality and identity. While attitudes continue to change, traditional expectations remain influential.
Today's young people are navigating a complex mix of established norms and newer ideas about equality and inclusion. Expectations around emotional expression, relationship roles and future family life are evolving, but often in uneven ways.
Research from the Reykjavik Index reveals growing differences are emerging between young men and young women in several countries, challenging assumptions that attitudes naturally converge over time. In 2025, the most significant contrast can be seen in Germany, where there is an 11-point gap between 18-34 and 35-54 year olds.
Similarly, the Shell Youth Study found that young people increasingly support more egalitarian arrangements within partnerships. However, it also identified growing political differences between young men and young women, reflecting wider divergence in attitudes and values.
These findings suggest that young people are not abandoning traditional gender expectations entirely. Rather, they are negotiating how those expectations fit within changing social norms and personal identities. Relationship support therefore needs to reflect this complexity rather than assuming a single shared perspective.
Relationships are learned, not innate
Ultimately, young people are not struggling because relationships matter less to them. They are managing a wider range of influences while building the skills needed to handle real-world challenges. From breakups and boundaries to changing gender expectations, many are learning through experience rather than formal guidance.
This creates a clear opportunity for policymakers, educators and organisations working with young people. Healthy relationships depend on communication and emotional skills that are built through practice, not just taught in theory. Support should therefore go beyond information, helping young people develop the confidence, resilience and practical tools to navigate relationships successfully.